Have you ever had one of those moments…

 

Have you ever had one of those moments, days, or even weeks, when there was just so much going on in your head that you needed, and wanted, to get it out anyway possible, but you couldn’t? No matter what you tried to do the chaos just wouldn’t settle enough so you could even think clearly, let alone write? I’m struggling with that right now. This little post has taken me far longer than it should to get done. In fact, this should have been finished last month.

I had been having moments of feeling a little overwhelmed with everything that has been going on, and then I’d get to a point where I’d freeze, and nothing would get done. It felt like I was being pulled in a million different directions. Think that’s an exaggeration? Fair call, but I’m not exaggerating about feeling overwhelmed, and I’d lost my enthusiasm, motivation, and energy, for everything I was supposed to be doing – including my writing. Just when I thought that I was starting to get back on track life threw me a curve ball.

IMG_8513Now, if you know anything at all about me, you know I have two Great Danes that I love dearly. A few weeks ago my youngest, 2 year old Dakota, got very sick very quickly, and because of the timing I found myself in an emergency clinic with her. She collapsed, and starting going into shock in the waiting room. We were rushed out the back where she was attached to a machine that showed her vitals (just like with humans), and had an IV inserted to get fluids into her. They suspected she was having an Addison’s Crisis, which was confirmed the next day, but other than those words being seared into my brain, everything else about that night is a little fuzzy.

I remember being told I had got her there just in time, that they had to stabilise her, and that the next few hours would be crucial. My brain flipped straight into overload mode, and all I could think was – “I may lose my girl. How is that possible? She wasn’t sick before this. What the hell happened?”

She had no symptoms before her Crisis, which in one way was good, because many dogs are sick on, and off, and can be initially misdiagnosed as some symptoms mimic other illnesses. However, to see her get so sick very quickly was really scary.

I was told to go home, get some rest, call them at anytime to check on her, and if she took a turn for the worse, they would call me straight away. I spent a very sleepless night with my boy who kept looking for her, calling them every few hours to see how she was, and dreading the possibility of my phone ringing.

It was two days before she could come home, but each day I got to spend some time with her, see how she was feeling when it was just the two of us, and give her some cuddles without getting in anyone’s way. Each time I came home poor Odin would look for her. It was so sad to watch.

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We are now going through the process of getting the medication dosage right for her. Medication she’ll be on for the rest of her life.

Of course this is the abridged version. I felt like I was on an emotional roller-coaster (to be honest I still am), and there was a lot of sleeplessness, and Internet searches going on.

Humans, dogs, cats, horses – I guess any animal that has adrenal glands can suffer from it.

I found a Facebook page for Canine Addison’s Disease, with thousands of members from all over the world, where people share their experiences with the disease, and medications. They’re really helpful, and supportive, and quick to point out to me that once the right dosage for her is sorted she’ll be back to her old self.

And in less than 24 hours I knew more about Addison’s Disease in dogs than I’d ever wanted to.  In fact, I never even knew it existed until the vet uttered those mind blowing words.

And that brings me back to the jumbled chaotic mess in my head. It’s still there, but I’m fighting my way through it, and just completing this post feels like a massive win (hopefully it doesn’t read like a jumbled mess).

Now maybe I can get back to what I should be doing – finalising Book 3.